Let me just come out and say this, if you’re on a diet, (a strict diet at that), love your body and don’t mind starving, I’m not your gal. But, if you’re struggling with food obsession and body image like the other 99% of us, keep reading.
Today’s blog isn’t a “beat around the bush” kinda day. This blog is more of an in your face, gonna make you uncomfortable and call you out on your shit kinda day.
If you’re not getting your period and you haven’t hit menopause, you’re not healthy.
I get some of us are athletes, fitness competitors or we’re on some form of birth control that limits our annual bleeding. Fine, but it’s still not healthy.
I didn’t get my period for YEARS and I loved it. You know why I loved it? Because it meant I wasn’t a full woman yet. It meant I was underweight, low body fat, malnourished, stressed and was avoiding my feelings and emotions.
To me, not getting my period meant I was winning.
Now, some of you might be thinking, “wtf?” This girl is off her rocker and weird. I am that too, lol, but I’m also a total truth-teller and some don’t want to face the fact that we actually enjoy being a woman who doesn’t menstruate.
Let me explain…….
I find we fall into one of two categories:
We hate ourselves or we love ourselves.
Rarely do we hear about the women who are working on themselves.
I’ve never known a woman who didn’t care for herself and decided to do nice things for herself, it just doesn’t exist.
If we’re:
+Running ourselves into the ground
+Chasing the next best thing
+Focusing solely on our external appearance
+A bitch or ungrateful
+Obsessing about getting our exercise in for the day and freak out if we miss
+Unable to sit still out of fear of our emotions popping up
+Controlling our food (intake and output)
+Living in victim mode and choosing to whine over taking action
+Living in the past and constantly blaming others for our problems
+Constantly gossiping about others to divert the attention away from ourselves
+Starving ourselves
+Overeating
+Bingeing and Purging
+Abusing drugs or alcohol
and the list goes on……
we’re not okay. We can continue to hide behind our shame by hitting the drive-thru when we’re alone and stuffing the wrappers under our car seat or we can stay fixated on gossiping about everyone else’s lives other than working on our own but those behaviors don’t take us far, nor do they make us happy.
Some of the happiest people I know thrive because a) they give back b) they smile c) they focus on the positive and write a gratitude list d) live in the moment e) enjoy the simple pleasures.
Not because they’re hungry, starving, thin or running themselves into the ground.
Here’s a hard line in the sand…….
IF WE DIET, WE’RE FUCKED.
One of the most gratifying moments in my life was when I got my period again. Might sound weird, but it’s true. It meant I was a woman, a powerful woman that no longer felt the need to play small, stay small or stay weak. It meant I was healthy and I could most likely carry a baby and that’s a true gift.
I know women who cannot have kids due to their disordered eating past. I know women whos hormones are so jacked up from years of vomiting and over-exercise they’re on hormone replacement at an early age from all the abuse they put on their body.
GO EAT PEANUT BUTTER.
We can’t bullshit someone who’s been there. We can’t fake being healthy around someone who knows the games all too well.
You know what we can do though? We can finally chose to be honest with ourselves and acknowledge our shortcomings and obsessions and choose to do something about it.
Because you know what those obsessions get us? A first-class plane ticket out of a particular kind of heartache. Whether that be the current relationship we’re in or avoidance from the past, it gives us an illusion of feeling everything without having to be vulnerable to anything.
Do me a favor and try these 3 things for me:
Give yourself some grace. Don’t worry about being 100% all the time, we can’t do it, nor are we meant to. If you have a shitty day with the food, it’s okay, you can start again tomorrow. If you are restricting because you want to be in control of something in your life, try ONE meal of eating what you want to eat versus what you feel you have to eat.
Feel your feelings. They aren’t scary even when they feel as such. I promise you will be okay. My suggestion? Allow yourself to feel them, even if it’s only 10 minutes and then find a way to distract with another healthy behavior. Maybe you go for a walk outside, call a friend or just get out for a drive. Anything to get you out of your head if you find yourself falling too deep into the rabbit hole of emotion.
Do something opposite. Obsessing about getting that run in? What IF you decided not to run that day? What would be the worst that could happen? Do you think you will gain 20 pounds overnight? Get uncomfortable, do something different, get out of your safe shell.
My FREE 21-Day Food Freedom Course has taken off and women love it. If you’re currently struggling with disordered eating patterns such as binge eating, restriction, emotional eating, obsessive exercise, you WANT to be in this FREE course. You can still join here.