You know those moments when you feel that instantaneous feeling of gratification? It’s like we won the lottery or we have this epiphany that somehow life is going to be different from this point forward. It’s like stepping on that scale for the billionth time seeing that the number has gone down justttt a little bit to set the tone for our day.
If it’s down then we’re happy and feeling complete but if it’s up, oh shit, I hate myself and now my day is off to a bad start. Ahh, that number, the power it has over so many of us and yet we crave it as a sense of identity, self-validation and achievement. I’m not saying that it’s not okay for those of us that are looking to lose a significant amount weight and are choosing to use the scale as ONE of the components to our terms of measurements. But-in a healthy way of course. Not getting on that scale daily or multiple times a day, but rather having a professional weigh us in weekly or doing so in a healthy manner.
However, for those of us that really struggle and by really struggle I mean those of us that base our day, self worth, self esteem and confidence on that damn number. For what? It becomes a game at some point doesn’t it? Let’s just see how low I can go. But-you know what?
There’s not ONE person I know that once they hit their first goal weight, decided they were done and didn’t want more. Not one.
It wasn’t enough because we needed more of where that came from because we crave it!
“Oh, just 3 more pounds.”
“If I can drop another 8 I’ll be happy.”
“Let’s try and shoot to get less off and see if we can hit this number.”
“I hate this one part of my body so I think I need to lose some more.”
There’s a fine line, isn’t there? It’s like once we hit this number we have stuck in our heads that it’s literally a mental mind fuck that it needs to be more. I mean, who doesn’t want more? That’s what our society is based off of, more clothes, more shoes, more money, more cars, more makeup, more weight loss, more, more and more. At what point do we draw that line in the sand and say, “Hold up, enough is enough!”
“I AM ENOUGH. RIGHT NOW.”
I get it. It’s so incredibly easy to fall back into the more is better trap rather than being content with what is. But, if we really look at it, dissect it, take a step back and observe ourselves from a third party perspective don’t you think they would say we have enough? At my thinnest, as I was literally withering away, no, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t until I sought help, gained the trust of a mentor of mine, dove into therapy, surrounded myself with like-minded and positive people and meeting my amazing fiancé did I realize I WAS enough.
The external bullshit no longer was relevant, sure it was nice to have money to buy things, have a roof over my head, have highly nutritious food to eat and a safe place to rest my head at night. It wasn’t however important to be leaner to achieve that.
Because, for me, the leaner I became the less I focused on other areas of my life. I was so fixated on my body that nothing else was really that important.
Us humans are funny aren’t we? It’s like we think we need all of this external shit (like weight loss) to finally make us happy, to finally make us feel whole but it doesn’t work. Here’s why:
- External validation is a temporary fix.: Losing the 5 pounds, getting the new car, purchasing 1k shoes, all of that feels nice for about an hour. Then what? We move on and we want more right? At some point we need even more to get the same fix. Take a piece of cake for example. When we experience a small slice for the first time it feels incredibly satisfying doesn’t it? Then we want more so we go back for 2 slices and then next week 4 slices and before we know it we need the whole cake to get the same first fix right? Same with weight loss. We want more and more but if we’re going about it for the wrong reasons then more will never be enough.
- If we solely focus on exercise as a tool for weight loss, we’ve already set ourselves up for failure. Who wants to go out and run time and time again just for the mere sake of trying to lose weight? After a while it feels like a chore, doesn’t it? F’ing exhausting and yet, we get up, hit the pavement and do it all over again because it’s what we know.
- It’s not fixing our inside voice. We can exercise, lean out, diet harder, etc but if we don’t acknowledge our internal voice along the way, we’re screwed. At some point we’ll feel like our body is 5 feet in front of us because we feel so disconnected from ourselves. We kinda lose a sense of who we are and what defines us as individuals and instead chose to focus on getting our hip size down.
What can we do?
I wish it was as simple a saying, here, take this one pill and your life will change, your thoughts will be different and you will be your best self! To start we have to take small action steps rather than getting overwhelmed with the big picture.
- Start small and simple: post daily affirmations on the mirrors, act “as if” you’re already in that mind set.
- Find a support group: like HERE find those friends or peers that are already there or are actively seeking to find it. Those that no longer feel the need to constantly critique their bodies and bitch about how miserable they are. By no means am I judging here, but what I am saying is find someone that is on the other side of what you’re going through or has a better perspective. Surround yourself with those you aspire to be.
- Do what you love: Other than working out and obsessing about our weight, what fuels us? What gets us going and we can be lost in time when we do this. Implement those into your life.
Do you need support, a sense of direction and feel at your wits end with what you’re currently doing now? I’m so freaking excited that I now have my 8 week coaching program now open for only 12 women. I wholeheartedly believe in my program and stand behind it 100%. I’ve seen it work time and time again and it’s sustainable, results-driven and supportive. Come join those that have already registered here!
xo,
Kim
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